I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
