true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
