She's JV to your varsity
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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