Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
