Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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