fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
