It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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