now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
