Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
