her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
