he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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