I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
