She's JV to your varsity
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
