Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
