We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
