Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
