This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
