one might say we're banned from that church
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize