are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
