God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
