that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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