i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
