Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so explain again why im purple
no
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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