It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just forgot I was standing up.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
