I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We are all done wearing pants today
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize