its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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