was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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