Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
