i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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