He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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