Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
