Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
