Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
