I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
