Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
