We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
