Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
