Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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