i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
