I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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