Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
