3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
