this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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