just tell him i said nine months
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
