I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
