I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
