I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and she was petting her beer can
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
