im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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