god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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