it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
