trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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