Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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