Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
