I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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