our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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