so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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