i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
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She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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