I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize