She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
