i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
