alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
