you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
