So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
