We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
