I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
