The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
