I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
