Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
