I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
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Take a stiff brush and clean all the solid debris from your sheets. Pop them in the washing machine with some baking soda and detergent. You may want to presoak any stains depending on the color of your vomit. Air dry your sheets, iron well. You may want to use a linen spray for extra freshness. Remember ladies love clean sheets and clean peens.
sounds like a texan, probably a transplant. So 7:08, if Texas is so great why and the fuck don't you Texans do everyone a HUGE favor and stay there. We don't want you!
And you've been sleeping on this bed since Halloween? That's fuckin' disgusting.
I hope you are kidding.. That is just down right funk nasty!! Can't help but wonder if that means that you don't shower often?!?! GROSS..
Fuck Denver. Texans are the best!
that makes me want to vomit
'white guy', get a life
seriously! That's bad hygiene!
nothing like a sad face to sum up this text.
I'm sure there is some disgusting girl out there who will fuck your disgusting self on your disgusting sheets.
You're fucking lazy. You're telling us that you haven't had 2 hours in the past 3 weeks to do anu laundry?!
Everyone stop acting like the world is some kind of idiotic game of win and fail, and that who gets laid the most gets the prize.
Geeeee.... The biggest obstacle between you and getting laid is CHANGING THE SHEETS??? WTF. Sounds like someone with motivation issues not someone can get laid at will
Omg that is so fuckin nasty. I'm ashamed to share this area code
I think the more important question is... Why?
ewww, you make 303 look horrible.
Sex drugs and alchohol aren't what life is about.
And 631 - we're not obsessed with your celebrities. The media is. That doesn't mean that anyone with an IQ of over 90 cares. And actually French music is pretty good - the hip hop is far better than American for example. And I'd listen o pretty much any kind of European folk music before listening to that detestable stuff you call country.
631 – Trust me, everyone hates you. Just because the idiots of the world watch your movies, that doesn’t mean they’re good, they’re just showier and bigger budget. Europe has all the leading fashion houses, as well as most of the more critically acclaimed cinema. Europe, especially England, has made far more popular music than America. How would you know anyway? 95% of you never leave your country.
LAZY DIRTY BASTARD YOU SHOULD NEVER BE LAID AND EVERYONE IS NOT THAT VILE AND DISGUSTING SO DON'T JUDGE ALL BY ONE'S ACTIONS
Then grab some change and head down to the laundry mat, that or use the nearest washing machine.
5:26, I won't deny that Americans are generally disgusting creatures, but if the rest of the world hates us, why do most other countries obsess over our celebrities. People all over the world listen to our music, wear our clothes, and watch movies with our actors. But who listens to French rock besides the French? Not many.
Peens! I love it! FCW FTW!!
That shit is gross.
So there I was in the shower, eating a chocolate chip cookie and holding my rifle, when I thought I heard a noise!
What the faaaack. If you don't wash your shit good luck getting laid haha
At this point get rid of the sheets. Buy new. Also, your parents should be jailed for raising a desperate loser... You won't fuck in the sheets, but you'll gladly sleep in the crusty, smelly remnants of Halloween. Moron.
7:04 you just made my day. :)
People like you don't deserve to live..... Just saying....
No one could possibly live with the smell for that many days. He or she (yeah, who knows if it isn't a girl) must at least have washed the sheets a little.
Who the fark are you people?? So rotten
Dude, that is fucking wrong. Don't wash them. Get brand new ones!!!
omg that's so nasty wow
this OP is the dirtiest fucker EVER!!!!!!
U don't deserve to get laid!!!
So, this one time, I submitted a fake text, like the OP, but it didn't make it. I didn't really care, though.
The person with the sheets issue is actually a girl lol
You are a fucking disgusting individual
let it ride ....she wont notice
I gottan o of the skunk
I'm from America, and I love other countries and the people that inhabit them. I don't like being hated because I was born here, should I have somehow have chosen to born somewhere else? Doesn't really work that way unfortunately. I love movies and music from everywhere. We aren't all the same, that's just media bs.
6:31 is right. You idiots are just mad because European countries don't call the shots. America has gotten stronger than any other country, except maybe China, and that just eats at you, cause it used to be France and Germany and England.
way to represent denver
really really gross. Vomit sheets should be washed IMMEDIATELY
back and forth forever
Shut the fuck up mr. Germany, America rules. And ya not gonna lie this is pretty disgusting
I think 800pm is right dude yacked, then washed the sheets. Only does it when it's that serious
yes, stupid americans, can't hold their beer! In Germany we know how to drink, not like american pussies who vomit everywhere after some drinks!
Americans. Too lazy not to lie in their own filth. No wonder the rest of the world hates you.
Disgusting. End of story.
you sure are a prize
You're fucking sick. I'm glad u can't get laid
There are plenty of late night laundry mats in Denver/ Boulder. I'm sure that if you really wanted some sex, you would go get that handled first