My first STD was from a foam party
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize