I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
