I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
