Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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