Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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